by Gisle Martens-Meyer
LETTER TO OTHERLAND
Dearest Fulcrum filth!!
With greatest sadness I cannot be present tonight, I'm at Frankfurt Buchmesse, tirelessly robbing publishers of their free drinks.
However! Tonight! Be careful what you say about The Fifth Season! My torus is immense! My orogene ears are listening in the Earth!! My army of stone eaters are standing by!! ONE NEGATIVE WORD about this greatest piece of literature ever, and my wrath and punishment will be instantaneous! My Obelisk death-rays are pointing straight to Bergmannstrasse! My lava sharks are circling in the magma under your feet at this very moment!
I give a remote thumbs up. I expect a universal vote. Thank you. Have a pleasant evening.
Blogger's note: No need to say that the book got our Otherland Book Club approval. As to Gisle, we expect to see ten rings on his ten fingers next time we see him. Hope he enjoys the drinks!
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